The Life of a Foolish Mortal

Your Wecomic is Bad and You Should Feel Bad by John Solomon (that name is probably just as real as any other one on the web)

In case there are people here new to the world of web comics, this guy has been garnering up some attention lately. Basicially Solomon claims to be taking swipes at the hilariously bloated amount of shitty web comics online. He should have his work cut out for him, there are a rather lot of bad comics out there.

For the first couple posts he strikes through the bullshit and is entertaining. Yea he's insulting webcomics but hey someone needs to. He is bravely going through archives of stuff that no one should really contemplate. But then things start to change. His vast amount of swearing (think like a Kevin Smith film but worse) gets monotonous and then he starts resorting to insulting everything but the web comic.

He bascially skims the surface of the comic, laughs at it in disgust, then starts taking pot shots at the readers who read them. As a sort of dessert he will spend a few more paragraphs insulting the writers. Their inability to draw, their lack of intelligence, their lack of life etc. He even goes as far as to throw around fat jokes.

Seriously, some of the stuff he is reviewing is bad enough that if he truly feels the need to ramble endlessly he doesn't really have to resort to poo slinging at the writers. Thats just kicking someone when their down.

But I have to say when he finally drew the line for me is when he called attention to and laughed at webcomics that haven't happened yet. He brought up the subject of Comic Genesis' comic preview womb (or something, I quit CG ages ago). Comic Genesis (formerly Keenspace) has always been the short bus of webcomics. There are some good ones on there the rest tend to be bad and blow away shortly after starting.

So insulting a short lived webcomic on Comic Genesis is like making fun of the kid on crutches who breathes funny. Insulting webcomics that haven't even started on Comic Genesis is like the equivalent of kicking a retarded crippled toddler down a flight of stairs. There isn't a whole lot to gain from it and it just proves how much of an ass you are.

I can vouch from experience that alot of CG stuff is made by underage kids who are still learning. John Solomon who I'm assuming is an adult (or at least bitter as one) is taking pot shots at abunch of angsty teens.

Way to go man.

I've come to discover over the years I have a severe addiction to action figures.

Somehow over time I've come to collect a few and it just fuels my desire for more. I even have a wish list of ones I want to add to the collection, which is rather small but dominates most of my desk. I've even started getting used to calling it that in my mind, collection.

Though that does not change the fact that after I gleefully remove each figure and accesories carefully from its packing that I realize that I've become more and more enslaved by them, and I swear to myself I'll quit.

On that determined note

OMG LENORE FIGURES, RAGAMUFFIN AND POOTY AND LENORE (and mr. gosh, meh) ALL IN ONE HILARIOUSLY WRONG SET HOW COULD I HAVE TOTALLY MISSED HEARING ABOUT THESE!?

The Brother's Grimm did not 'make up all those whacked out fairy tales'.

They recorded them. The fairy tales were like the urban myths of today. They were told around hearths and at bed time. They were a teaching tool.

Don't go in those woods, there is a witch/psycho. I heard about that girl who was lured away by that rapist/wolf. Bad things happen to children who don't obey. You'll lose your nose, you'll shoot your eye out, You'll never be seen again, you'll have no teeth, die. Just like that boy/girl/slave.

That is why the orginal tales are scary, they were to scare the shit outta children and make them behave.

Now keep that in mind when you go watch a movie directed by Terry 'WTF' Gilliam dealing with fairy tales.

BTW, I loved the movie

now to my meds and to bed

Parents,

Do NOT GIVE THIS TO YOUR LITTLE CHILDREN. DO NOT.

If the fourth book did not make it clear enough, if the fifth book did not make it clear enough, let me spell this out. THIS IS NOT A KIDS BOOK. If your kid is not in the older years of junior high (we're talking 12-13 and up) DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS READ IT.

THERE IS SOME FREAKY SHIT HERE, SOME BRILLIANT BUT FREAKY SHIT.

I heard my mom saying how there were some little kids at the park yesterday reading the new Hary Potter book, I felt very sad for them. Very sad and ill. These books really stopped being kids books by the end of book four, they've only gotten worse. PARENTS PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOUR KIDS READ.

The damn paper is now finshed. Now off to paint on that guy some more or maybe draw some twenties junk.

In other news, Cecil B. DeMille makes my brain hurt in so many interesting ways.

( cut for mythology rant )

I love the scene where the freaky fog rolls in and Pharohs all like 'ominous fog-meh' and this guy keels over (sideways, like someone had pulled a rug out from under him) and while falling points and while dying mutters loudly and dramatically 'Let the people go lord pharoh'.

Dude guy (no idea of names, I only came in on the last plague) knells beside and checks to see if he is live or not and Pharoh asks 'is he your son?' 'yes..my first born'

who the hell talks like that? it seems to me it might make a bit more sense to have the dude guy say something like "my son...my oldest son, *weep*" than have everyone so stone cold and stiff and assume that you'd check a guys pulse only if you were related.

Heard about this on Gaia Online: Viz announces release of Shojo Beat magazine

Their line-up contains some part of the manga Count Cain but sadly nothing else really apppeals to me.

For those who know me who haven't read Count Cain, I can not recommend it enough, its got little intrigue plots, its got victorian esque stuff, its got murders, suicides, vampires, ghosts, revenge, secret societies and vague homosexual subtext. Did I mention its got some kick ass art work? So go forth and read it damnnit

( cut for the line up )

[sarcasm] oh yea, sign me up for a copy...I must read about a boy taking care of a toddler, the trials and tribulations of playing volleyball, and a girl falling in love with a robot* [/sarcasm]

But seriously Godchild/Count Cain seems to be the odd one out in this line up. I wish they were releasing a magazine that wasn't so....fluffy.

I mean, Smile wasn't that fluffy, at least towards the end when they were releasing Clover and Mars. Wow...I just realised that that was back in the day before the manga EXPLOSION, true just before but still wow. I think I still have that one issue of MixxMagazine*** sitting around, hard to believe that became TokyoPop. I feel old now.


* brought to you by the writer of Fushigi Yuugi no less, Miss 'girls need strong heroines so I'm going to make stories where the girl needs to lean on a group of protective guys' Herself. I'm sorry but I've got a serious bone to pick with that woman

** back in, 1997-98 someone lent the magazine to my sis who lent it to me to read so I'd leave her alone. The lender never claimed it back and my sis forgot all about it

Ok, so I'm a nutcase, I laugh at innapropiate times in movies, I also cut my geek teeth on DC Vertigo comics when I was ten (my sis got sick of me bugging her so she'd just shove some reading material at me sometimes she'd remember to find something that wasn't too mature for my age).

So while I'm not an rabid Hellblazer reader whose read the whole series cover to cover and catalouged the Constantine family tree I am familiar with the character of John Constantine. He made appearances in Swamp Thing, Sandman, and Books of Magic which I've read. I've also read enough of the actual series to get the gist of it.

( cut for geekish rant, movie spoilers and vast critism )
Ok to sum up the rant thus far:
Giving the script to a fresh pair of eyes (I don't mean to add onto it, but just read it to check for clarity).

Changing some casting around (Constantine and Lucifer for one) also would have helped this be a pretty good show, instead of an annoying show that makes me cry and want to watch Hellboy to make the pain go away.